An Abhilash Chandra Feature Presentation

Thursday, June 10, 2010
Fan Pages on Facebook. The utter Bullshit Surrounding it. Vanity at it's best.

Fan pages. That bewilders me. Facebook has numerous applications, but as of recent times, fan pages on facebook have been teeming with individuals who are absolutely delusional. Most consists of aspiring singers, rappers, models, photographers and absolute morons who call themselves leaders.

Vanity.

Vanity. This is what you THINK you look like.

It's a sin that we just can't get enough of. It's delicious, it's tasty and it involves me, me, me and by that i mean you, you, you. The act of loving your own reflection in the mirror and inside your head theres this mantra going on and on like a broken recorder that "you're hot" "you're awesome" " you're sexy" and "they suck". The sin that makes you look down on everyone else, and puts your ass all high and mighty. It's almost as if your own shit smells sweeter than others. Like it's dabbled with some vanity perfume that fills up your nostrils and clouds your head and which finally turns you into a first class douche bag of the highest order.

This is what you REALLY look like. Vanity is hazardous.

Call it an ego complex, where your head gets too big you crash under your own weight.

There is however the justified ego. Where you're actually good at something and your head gets too big for it's own good, and then you get backlash for it, and you just prove yourself and the world onwards that you do deserve that right to be an egoistical bastard. Take Kanye West for example. Dude is so in love with himself he listens to his own shit in his own house and calls it dope. The guy keeps hyping himself up everywhere he goes and when he doesn't win awards he throws tantrums like a lil toddler. Now if he was some shitty ass douche bag with nothing to prove, i'd deem him a waste of space. But you have to hand it to Kanye, aside from his moronic jibber jabber blabber mouth which is always full of himself, the man has a lot of talent and his music is always a hit. He proves the world wrong with his work. So in that sense, the egoistical bastard can justify his egoness with his hard work which is appreciated by the world. Fair play, those kinda people get a pass.

im so AWESOME!

But then there are the morons who have the delusional ego. The douchebags who have absolutely nothing to prove, whose work is absolute rip offs of other peoples originality, and the pain in the ass part is that they actually think their crap is so good its meant to be shared to the rest of the world because its shat out by god himself, when in actual fact, its as sweet as a steaming pile of feces, or shall i be more crude and describe it as blood stained shit left in the sun to rot and which smells so bad it kills anyone on first scent. Yes i'd go that far.

Why? Because it's painfully annoying to have idiotic delusional individuals as such spamming my facebook every day of every month of every year with fan page requests and filling my inbox with all their spewing crap.

It is an abortion of lousy talent.

I mean theres this one girl whom iv declined to join her facebook fan page for about 10 times now, and yet she keeps sending me requests all the god damn time. I can see that your clearly spamming everyone on your facebook to join your shitty little photography fan page group but hey, if it was anywhere near half decent, i wouldn't mind joining it. However, half the pictures on her fan page that she's taken looks like something i'd rather wipe my ass with. Hell if my dog pissed on the floor right now, i'd use those pictures to clean the piss up. It's that awful. Nothing original, extremely cheesy, and it's extremely tacky. Tacky tacky tacky. I'm not going to post her shit up here and make fun of her cause that's just beneath me, but it is horrendous and you'd have to take my word for it.

Then there are the self proclaimed rappers who think they have what it takes to spit some beats. God awful jack offs who only know how to cuss and spit verses that are full of shit about hoes, women, cash and rides. Anything else out of that, would be a lost cause on society. None of their verses are original and none of their beats are even worth the time. It's almost like someone's injecting me with stupid, making me dumber by the second. And might i add that their all just posers? A poser is someone who tries to be something their not. Try to dress a certain way, try to talk in a brooklyn or harlem new york accent when really they have a lala ah beng accent or a macha from the ghetto accent or a melayu rempit accent, try to pass off their shit as something else totally new when it's the same bullshit you've heard over and over again. These are posers. And it's the posers that are so deluded to think their shit is so sweet they force feed you this crap again and again and again on facebook. To quote Ludacris, "its ludicrous." I get so fed up with these Malaysian kiddos who come and say shit like " YO MAN IM FROM DIAMOND BAY NIGGA." And im like....Diamond Bay? Where the fuck is Diamond Bay?

"Diamond Bay la bro....you know...Teluk Intan....Diamond Bay, English lah..."

.......

It's shit like that where they try so hard to copy others and be like a rip off of Jay Z throwing "diamonds" in the air with their bullshit hand signs that pisses me off, and then you get the very same jack offs or those like them sending fan page requests all over facebook thinking they have something to prove. Ten years down the road, i'll see you driving a taxi, thank you very much.

*** UPDATE*****

so my buddy calls me and tells me i made an error in judgement about the Diamond Bay thing; I'm leaving it just to show i'm a douche bag, and yes i am an asshole. BUT you know, i was WRONG, and i shouldn't have pidgeon holed the whole comment on just the Diamond Bay thing. It wasn't meant for just the boys back there. It was meant to make a point, which was to mean that i was tired of our young malaysian rappers who are up and coming or those established who talk about bitches money hoes and dissing each other and all tht jazz in their rap songs. The lyrics, it just doesn't break any more ground anymore. It's just silly boys and girls. Rap about real life, and what goes on in Malaysia. As gay as that may sound i think we might actually have something going on here that could mean something really good. Joe Flizzow thinks he's the next Jay Z. Flizzy copies JayZ so much he even speaks in a thick American Accent when he ain't even near to coming from New York. What's that about? And i need i say more about guys like Point Blanc and Caprice.Sigh. It's those kinda generics that i get pissed off. So to the Diamond Bay boys, im sorry fellas, i didn't mean to insult you lot or poke at you lot. I wanted to generalise but by doing so i made the mistake of pidgeon holing the comment like im hitting on you boys. So again im sorry. Hey assholes make mistakes too. So here's me the asshole apologising. ****

Tila Tequila Doing What She Does Best. No talent. No Nothing. Just Self Promotion on how to be a Hoe.

Hah! And all those girls....sigh....women make the ultimate sin of vanity. Well the typical ones anyways. I call it insecurity. When you need to send fan page requests to hundreds and hundreds of people telling them to be your fan because your some "hotshit up and coming model" that in itself sends all kinds of alarm bells ringing in my head. What kinda bullshit model does that? Who promotes herself? Thats just pathetic. Take a look at Hollywood for example. The only sad foolish hoes that do that over there are the trashy bitches like Tila Tequila or Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan or some bitch with massive tits. I can't see Jenny Lopez doing that, or Naomi Campbell or Beyonce doing that. Their big because they are, because their talented and because they get all the exposure from their work behind the scenes. The hoes like Kim Kardashian that promotes themselves through other means like fucking a famous person or exposing their tits everywhere are the ones that have absolutely nothing to prove.

The only reason why Kardashian is famous.

You might argue then that the facebook fan page is nothing like that and it's just for people to appreciate your talent. But what talent exactly? To look pretty? And that too at a mediocre level? if you really are some hot shit model, you'd be getting contracts, and i mean HIGH END CONTRACTS from all kinds of agencies and companies all year round. not some panasonic shit, or a one time placement in Cleo magazine. Please. Give me a god damn break will ya? It works the same way, self promotion with no basis and nothing to prove is a fucking waste of time. you wanna do that, do it on your own facebook page, Do not send me requests three hundred million times asking me to be your fan because why would i want to be a fan of a woman who has nothing to prove for herself except for looking pretty at sucha mediocre level.

Nope no time for that.

So you see these are some examples of the kind of bullshit you see on the facebook fan page application. If you have genuine talent, id buy that, but what YOU might perceive as talent from YOUR perspective, might actually been seen as utter bullshit by others. So if you really wanna be good at what you do, be harsh on yourself, go around expose yourself to all the critics and shit, and if your ready for that, you're ready to be good at what you do and then perhaps maybe just maybe some one might appreciate all the work you do and THEY will start a fan page for you and people will be your fans.

Not the other way round.

Douchebags.

And if you dont like what you just read? You can just kiss my brown ass.

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 11:10 PM link to post 7 comments

Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Prince of Persia. What a Waste of Time. Shitty Summer For Movies I Reckon.

There are a lot of movies out there where you know when it's shit, it's shit.

I've been paying attention to Prince of Persia for quite a while now, since its trailer debuted last year, and really, I was not impressed. Frankly speaking, the minute you get a white boy playing a Persian, the movie just fails for me on all levels. Yes i know the rhetoric behind the decision is, hey well they are famous and casting an unknown would be probably kill the film, and as Bruckheimer says, well you know, most Persians back then were blonde haired and blue eyed beauties. Now, you could try passing off Gyllenhall as a Persian, but you can't pass off a shitty movie for a good one. No way sir. I just can't fall for that one.

I never was familiar with the game. In fact, the only times I was ever exposed to any Prince of Persia games was when i was watching some 8 year old kid try to make the Persian jump up and down on some wall while he got his ass kicked in some video game store. Hmm looks pretty shitty i said.

Contrary to what i though, the game itself was ridiculously succesful and a lot of people loved it. So much in fact, that Hollywood thought, damn, we could actually cash in on this sucker.

Well sure you can, but really, this ain't no Pirates of The Carribean. There is no original film making here, nor is there any ground breaking acting by Jake Gyllenhall, ( Johnny Depp was an exception to the rule, where tent-pole summer movies could be successful on the basis of brilliant acting by Depp.) But to be frank the acting was absolutely terrible. I mean these are actors whom i had such high regard for. Gyllenhall was brilliant in his breakthrough performance in Donnie Darko, and i loved him in Brokeback Mountain, hell the guy got nominated for an Academy Award! Sir Ben Kingsley is always a joy to watch when he does it right, but lately there have been so many shit movies of him in it, you just wonder, okay old man, enough with the paychecks, just try doing something that means something to you for once.

And what in the anus of zeus is up with the god awful British Accents. Gyllenhall's accent was so bad i kinda got confused if he was doing an Australian or a British accent. Hell he could have been doing an Italian accent for all i cared, it just sounded wrong when they were wearing tunics and Persian costumes. I've never ever heard any Persian speak in such accents. Wait? Is it because the Americans are so daft that if they actually did speak like true Persians they would be sounding like ....*gasps*... terrorists?!?

Silly Hollywood.

But really Prince of Persia has not not been the only god awful movie this summer. With the exception of Shrek the Fourth, so far, I could say the heat of the summer movies are as hot as a dead salmon on ice. Frozen stiff below zero.

This weekend saw four new movies open in America, none of which came close to dislodging "Shrek Forever After" from the No. 1 slot. Universal had hoped its raunchy comedy "Get Him to the Greek" would be another "Hangover," but after seeing its humdrum opening weekend numbers, the studio is now hoping it might emulate "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," a far, far more modest comedy hit from 2008. "Killers," which was the most expensive release in Lionsgate's history, opened at No. 3 with $16.1 million, which by Lionsgate's own benchmarks makes it a potential money loser, especially after receiving a giant splatter of bad reviews. Killers by the way is so awful i'd rather smell shit than burn in the cinema with this loser. Have you seen the poster? Yeah well that itself explains a lot. Urgh.

Fox's family film "Marmaduke," which opened to a weak $11.3 million, actually got worse reviews than "Killers," earning an 11 Fresh rating from Rotten Tomatoes, and isn't expected to find any bigger audiences in the coming weeks. Warners' horror film, "Splice," only made $7.5 million, a number that will plunge further downward, since most horror films drop off considerably from their opening weekend performance. The movie though did get glowing reviews for it's originality. I guess there was something seriously wrong with the marketing of the film.

Despite the grim news so far this summer, I'm not predicting a box-office recession. It's way too early for that. But if the box office rebounds, it will be for the same reason that it is now slumping. It won't be the sequels that will save the summer, it will be the original movies. In fact, most of the films that have the best buzz right now are original movies, led by Christopher Nolan's "Inception," which is pretty much everybody's pick for the breakout movie of the summer, followed by the Tom Cruise-starring thriller "Knight & Day," the Adam Sandler comedy "Grown Ups" and the Steve Carell comedy "Dinner For Schmucks."

No one's saying that a sequel like "Toy Story 3" or remakes like "The Karate Kid" and "The A-Team" won't be big hits too. But the difference-makers -- the films that will help decide whether this is a miserable summer or just a modestly disappointing one -- are going to be the original movies. There are still a host of other factors impacting the business these days, not the least of which being the steep rise in ticket prices, especially for 3-D movies, which could be keeping marginal moviegoers away from all but the most obvious most-see releases.

(If I was a betting man, I'd be very worried about a 3-D film like "The Last Airbender," which judging from audience reaction to its trailers looks like exactly the kind of film most likely to be hurt by lack of moviegoer willingness to pay top dollar to see it in 3-D.)

But what really counts here isn't so much sticker shock as the shock of the new. Even in the summer, when we're accustomed to expect a never-ending deluge of reworked ideas and retro-fitted story lines, it turns out that it's the movie that delivers something startlingly new that reminds audiences why they started going to the movies in the first place.

Where the hell is the magic in movies nowadays anyways?? Bleh.

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 5:31 AM link to post 1 comments

Sunday, June 06, 2010
Fight For Other People's Rights, but Not Your Own.

It's rather strange seeing Malaysians get all up in arms about the whole Israel Palestine thing. Well maybe i should rephrase that. It's rather strange seeing Malaysians being genuine human beings for once giving a shit about what goes on around the world. But here's me asking.... why?

Whatever the Israel government is doing right now to the Palestinians is wrong, there is no doubt about that for sure. They need all the help they could get. Aid for them is of paramount importance. It is outright degrading to leave a small army of people starving to death over a dispute about land issues. Or is it pride issues?

Pride. Thats a funny word.

The Malaysians have always taken a special pride with this specific war. I could see why. We're a Muslim country, and our Muslim brothers especially despise the "Jew Dogs" and what they do. Protests numbering in the thousands go on and about the streets of Kuala Lumpur with the people calling the UN to do something serious about this matter. The American embassy is hoarded and flags of Israel are burned, while chants and screams are echoed through out the air.

Alls fair in love and war until somebody gets put down like a dead dog on the wrong side, depending on who you support.

Malaysians are a strange bunch. It's funny how they would get up in arms over something going on in another country but whatever that happens on their own soil, a blind eye is suddenly a necessity. Freedom of speech and liberal freedom to fight for your rights are thrown on the floor and stepped on just like how they step on the Israel flag.

But like i said, this particular protest, it's justified. You see them rally up and shout for the rights of Palestinians to be freed. But really in what context are they shouting for? I wonder.

Hmm wait...does it have something to do with the Muslim faith? or the fact that its the Jews against the Muslims? Well i suppose it is what it is. All impassioned and out to make headlines all in the name of religion. yes their fighting for the human rights of those that suffer, but really its more in the name of religion than anything else. "Hidup Islam?"

I say go for it, do what you must, if it's for a right cause, you guys are doing good. The protests are justified.

But I just wished, more Malaysians could be more passionate about what happens in their own country. They could actually fight for their human rights and say hey, we're getting fucked over by the Government, we're not getting a good deal out of this, our newspapers are on a choke hold from reporting whats in favour for the government, people are being jailed for absolutely no reason, children are getting gunned down, and our politicians run amok doing whatever the hell they please while taking mr tax payers money and pocketing it for themselves. On top of that even questioning the government is a big no no in this country of ours. In fact right now, i could be filed under the Sedition Act. Hah!

Why can't Malaysians be more nationalist and care about what goes on with their own people and by people i mean their own countrymen first. You can protest all you want and show your pride for those on a different land, but try to shift that energy once in awhile to your own people please? Try fighting for our basic human rights as Malaysians and our freedom to live under one flag first. I feel we have a lot more pressing matters in our own country that go unsolved for decades and no one really does anything about it. They do try, but very very little.

But when it comes to an issue of religion which really divides us more than unites us, everyone is up in arms ready for war.

Sigh. the contradictions we live in.

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 6:45 PM link to post 0 comments

Friday, April 09, 2010
The Most Ridiculous Things People Get For Their Pets.

Some people know no boundaries when it comes to spoiling their pets. Pet-obsessed individuals have inspired a limitless list of animal friendly products meant to spoil the pet in a colorful variety of ways. Meanwhile, dogs and cats everywhere are totally unaware of the ridiculous lengths to which their owners will travel to keep them looking cute (or absurd). They are, after all, domesticated animals with little to no understanding of things like yoga, jewelry, and the concept of the internet. Here are some of the most ridiculous and unnecessary luxuries designed for pets.

15. Doga – Yoga For Your Dog

A lot of people who take yoga are a little crazy — the clothing, the classes, and the accessories have all become a lifestyle for self proclaimed ‘yogies’. Yoga has turned into an obsession for many healthy Americans, who sometimes spend hours or hundreds of dollars a week on yoga classes and related health regimens. A new type of class has been taking yoga to the next level of crazy with doga — couples yoga for a dog and its owner.

The dog mostly sits around while master lifts its arms in various directions to ’stretch’ the both of them out simultaneously. Those dogs don’t know what the hell is going on. Look at that picture. That is a confused animal. The poor dog has the face of rape victim about to get attacked.

The ‘dog massage’ seems most normal: Dogs like to be petted. But...can't you do that yourself without paying that much money for it?

Many doga teachers admit that the activity is more about bonding with the dog than exercising or posing it, but is a yoga classroom necessary to achieve a better relationship with one’s pet? What ever happened to the park?

14. Luxury Pet Spas

What does a person get out of a pet spa? The individual doesn’t even get to experience the joy of watching their pet wearing a humiliating outfit, or scarfing down the remnants of a puppy birthday cake. Luxury pet spas include services like individual hotel rooms equipped with TV and music, and can cost hundreds of dollars a night. Is that really necessary? My dogs chase after rats and kill pidgeons and they find that entertaining. AND its free!

13. Designer Dog Clothing

Dogs sometimes need clothing in colder weather; the coat they were born with may not be enough for ‘ruffer’ climates, and genetically engineered teacup puppies are ill-equipped for most things in life. An old child’s sweater or a cut up tee shirt might work wonders for your pet, but some people prefer their animal dress in style. Designer dog clothing has spawned dog pajamas, dog jackets made from fur ( apparently their own fur ain't enough? ) and leather, and even dog shoes. A pampered pup might love its Ed Hardy dog tee, but that’ll be a very muddy hundred pounds when the pooch is done with it.Ouch.

12. Pet Jewelry

Pet jewelry is a baffling invention. Cats, who are wise enough to figure out that anything dangling and shiny is a toy, are really the only domesticated animal that could make use of jewelry. In a world where thousands of Americans suffer as they try to feed themselves on inadequate salaries, there are people who buy hundred dollar dog necklaces and swarovski crystal pet hair clips. The dog does not need a Tiffany necklace, nor does it know what Tiffany is.

Solid gold ID tags, golf caps and leather hats, and scarves are also hot items.Why? I don't know. My dog has a string around it's neck with a tag on it. Total price? 5 bucks.

11. Wigs

If you’re not satisfied with the fur your pet came with, there’s a product designed to give your furry friend even more hair than it sheds on all of your furniture — pet wigs. A website called Kitty Wigs is dedicated to creating four styles of wigs for your cat — pink passion, beautiful blonde, electric blue, and silver fox. The cats pictured are tolerant of the luscious locks designed to accentuate their beautiful feline features, but look more like caricatures of celebrities than anything a sane person would want or need for their animal. The cost of a Kitty Wig is fifty dollars, though there are slightly cheaper alternatives around the web. Animal wigs have become so popular that the trend has spawned online communities made for sharing pictures of the modeling pets, as well as a book called ‘Glamourpuss’.

10. Home Cooked Pet Meals Delivered To Your Door

Keeping a dog healthy is important for ensuring that it live a long, happy life. Part of that process is maintaining a great diet for the animal; some brands of cheap, store-bought food are to dogs what McDonald’s is to humans: incredibly unhealthy. Like a person, an animal who consistently eats over processed, low-grade meals every day is going to be an one with a slew of health problems.

Making sure to pick out the healthy dry food in the dog food aisle is one thing, but providing the animal with a home cooked meal everyday is an entirely new level of dedication. Besides those who spend a little extra time providing fido with a gourmet dish, there are those who spend the extra money to have one delivered straight to their door. Changing an animal’s diet can have an astounding effect on the quality of its life, but opting for a home catering service to spoil the pet on a daily basis is just unnecessary.

I usually just toss bones off from my table.

9. Expensive Dog Houses

A dog house is ideal for those who are uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping with their dog. Some people can’t imagine a night without their pup next to them. Others need a feeling of reassurance that their pet is completely comfortable no matter where the animal chooses to spend its time — indoors, or out. This last type of person typically has the time to spend thinking of ways to spice up the pet’s life, and the money to make it happen.

The most expensive dog house ever created was designed by an architect and ran up a bill of $250,000 — more than the cost of many full-sized houses. The doghouse is equipped with temperature controlled beds, food and water dispensers, a webcam to allow around the clock dog monitoring, and a 52 inch plasma television. A television intended for dog-use only is pretty absurd, but so are the high-tech eye scanners which ensure that no strange dogs enter the house and order a ton of animal planet on On-Demand.

My dog sleeps on a cold cement pavement.

8. Pet Web Pages

Dogs do not know how to use the internet. The most interaction they have with a computer is barking at a barking dog on Youtube, or cocking their head in confusion when a familiar voice comes through the speakers on a Skype call. Facebook is a foreign and useless thing to a dog — the closest thing to adding friends is a romp at the dog park.

Why does it seem like most people who are truly dog obsessed are computer impaired? Some people have created geocities-type sites to showcase the life and times of their precious pooch. One website called Dogster features a section similar to Facebook — but strictly for dogs. Get this, a dog can add other dogs as friends, write on their walls, and post pictures of itself photoshopped into a festive Easter bunny outfit. How do dogs do this i can't even begin to fathom since they lack index fingers.

What this really means is that there exists a community of people role playing as their dog, whom, they have assumed, really wants a Facebook. It's either they love their dogs so much they want to be them, or their just very sad individuals who lack a social life.

I mean it is believeable actually after staying in the UK for awhile now. The way some of the brits advertise about Dogs is a joke. They role play as the dog and do voiceovers as the dog, asking people to buy em. Silly? Or Good advertising. I don't know.

Chewing on bones, playing in the park and going on long walks don’t really count unless you can document them online and receive praise from other like-minded lunatics with strange priorities in life. To hell with crazed paedophiles on the net, these guys are nuts!

7. Pet Jacuzzi

Jacuzzi purchasers are generally well-to-do; it’s an expensive, luxury amenity afforded only by those who have at least a couple extra grand to spare on extracurricular activities. That being said, many of these people might not see the problem with splurging a little extra on a dog-friendly jacuzzi. A company called MTI Whirlpools makes a ‘Jentle Pet Spa’, with jets designed to accommodate dogs with softer spray action. The spa is small enough to fit into a normal bathroom, making it too similar to a normal bathtub which can fit a bathing animal just as comfortably at a much lower price.

Last i checked...Dogs don't generally like to get wet. And even if they do they'd just lap around for awhile and leave the place a stinking mess. So who cleans the jacuzzi after? Sigh.

6. VIP (Very Important Pet) Service At A Paris Hotel

A hotel in Paris offers VIP services for $400 a night — but the P in VIP doesn’t stand for person. The Very Important Pet services include a gourmet meal delivered as room service, games, personal trainers, massage therapists, and custom made designer dog beds. Most of these services can only be utilized after paying additional fees, meaning that the “Heavenly Pet Package” will cost the better half of a grand for just a single night. Pfft. I could use that 400 bucks actually.

5. Diamond Dog Collars

Diamonds are a sign of luxury and elegance, but dogs don’t know that. Only humans do, since we’re the ones who invented the connotation surrounding them in the first place. It’s no secret that many rich people buy expensive embellishments for their pet to feel better about themselves; the animal is seen in public with accessories that may as well be tiny dollar signs around its neck. A diamond dog collar is one three million dollar dog treat that will surely go completely unnoticed by the little guy — unless he’s chewing the dangly necklace into pieces. Three million dollars could buy a whole lot of bones.

So if someone comes and kills the dog, lops of it's neck, and gets the jewellry, you'd be one dogless owner.

4. Unisex Pet Perfume

No one likes a smelly pet. Cats are typically self sufficient when it comes to grooming, but dog owners are advised to wash their pet on a regular basis to avoid the old ‘dirty dog’ smell. It’s a pretty simple concept, but those with some extra money to blow and an interest in all things stupid might opt for Sexy Beast, the unisex pet perfume. The scent is described as “A unisex blend of bergamot and vanilla-infused musk combined with natural patchouli, mandarin and nutmeg oils.” It’s apparently crafted specifically for the dog’s sensitive nose, which probably cares more about the scent of old cheese and dog bones than mandarin and nutmeg oils.

I just toss some talcum powder on mine.

3. A “Bark” Mitzvah

A Bar Mitzvah for dogs, the Bark Mitzvah is a new way for Jewish dog owners to integrate their furry little pal into their religious lifestyle. Unlike a boy becoming a man, a dog doesn’t become anything than what it already is — a dog. The sanest of participants (which isn’t saying much) might spend under a hundred dollars on a dog-themed cake and park ‘ceremony’, while others have dropped up to ten thousand dollars on a lavish Bark Mitzvah. The most expensive party took place at a catering hall equipped with food and a full bar that was ready to serve over a hundred people. For a dog.

2. Elaborate Pet Funerals

Crazy people have found a way to spend unnecessary amounts of cash on their pet even after it’s dead. A ‘pet funeral’ usually implies an old shoe box or duffel bag, the animal’s favorite toy and a ditch in the backyard. However, there are always those willing to take it to the next level — like fully lined pet coffins ranging from a couple hundred to a couple thousand dollars. A great way to prolong the grief and mourning that comes after the loss of a pet is to blow loads of money on an extravagant service instead of doing something useful with it, like donating to an animal charity.

My last dog ran away.

1. Doggie Ice Cream

Ice cream for dogs sounds pretty cute, but is still an unnecessary frill. The website encourages buyers to have a ‘paw-try’, a practice adopted by some puppy crazed people who might spend hundreds of dollars on themed festivities. The Frosty Paws website even has a section for pictures of said parties, featuring dogs in party hats sitting obediently nearby the box of dog ice cream that they gaze upon in longing.

My dog usually just licks off my ice cream, and i have it after.

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 10:34 PM link to post 0 comments

Getting Through Life is About Getting Paid. Anything Can Happen. What In The World Am I Going To Do Tomorrow To Get With Life Then?

"I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need,
hey, hey,
Well I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need
hey, hey,
And I said I need dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need
And if I share with you my story would you share your dollar with me"

Says it all doesn't it? Life is about dollars and dimes ladies and gentlemen. Everyday is a straight up hustle, and your success depends on what you have to offer, and if you have your A-Game hat on.

The American Dream. What is it?
It's the dream of any man making it in the land of the plenty. As long as you work hard enough, anything is possible. Anything can happen. Fortune favours the bold as they say. Are you fortunate enough to be bold enough? Do you have the balls to go the distance?

Getting paid is a common theme i think almost everyone could relate to, unless your a straight up bum or your born with a silver spoon up your ass. The average homegirl or homeboy down in the burbs could definately relate to the circumstances of loving success. Air doesn't taste any sweeter than with the smell of green moolah all the way from here to timbuktoo coming out of your pockets. Amazing feeling isn't it, to have a wallet full of cash, bills all paid, sexy ride with a full tank, beautiful big ass pad to go home to, and a woman, all ready to say im yours and your mine.

Success, it's a funny thing.

It entices you to do the desperate. It forces you to go the distance. It burns you inside when you see others have more of it. And it lures you like a seductive nymph with her legs open ready to swallow you whole. Success, is vanity in disguise.

Everyone wants it, everyone loves it, everyone would kill for it.

But the true beauty of success, is the road you take to achieve that beautiful golden shimmer in your heart.

Everybody has their own road, their own path, their own goals, but how you get to it, is the adventure of a lifetime.

It doesn't seem like it while your on the road itself. As some would call it, the path of "glory".

Glory? What glory? Working your ass off for months at some dead end job that pays you peanuts for the long hours you do? Getting disappointed by being turned away by every opportunity out there? So called friends hustling you out of every investment you make? Bigger competition coming out of every corner coming to take you down? Women digging outta you every single penny you got? Family laughing at your broke ass because your hustle didn't turn out exactly the way you planned? Your boss kicking your ass because no matter what you do, your work is shit to him?

Well...what kind of glory would that be indeed.

But that's the path everyone's gotta take; it's a path filled with shit and grime coming at you from every side, but the beauty of it is going through it all, and being able to come out smelling like a fresh set of roses ready for delivery. That's glory. That's dreams coming true. That's success. And looking back one day when you've made it, you just say to yourself, that that indeed were the best times you would never ever take back, because those moments educated you so much to be the success you are today. All that bullshit, all that crap, made you stronger to be a success story.

If shit comes at you, dont run away from it, just look for a better way for it to not happen again and move on. You learn from it, you work with it, and you head forward.

That's the dream.

Hard work pays, so does karma. A lil faith and hope in what you do never hurts either.

HBO makes great tv shows. I mean their classy, brilliant and captivating.

The latest dish on the market is this tv show executive produced by Mark Whalberg; yeap same dude you saw in all those movies and also the same guy who executive produced Entourage. The last i heard Entourage is a huge success? Well there's a new baby in the market now.

The show opens with this beautiful montage of pictures that breathes so much life giving you a sense of realness of how it is to be running around downtown New York in the thick of things. The focus to the smaller details and the overall nature of everything else around the city gives you a bigger sense of the life there. It sucks you in with that small little montage, with the background music supporting the lyrics this post introduced you with. "Dollar Dollar, Dollar is What I Need."

So much, all at once, in a short time frame.

My friend kept talking to me about the show and he'd randomly bring it up during our conversations and to be frank the title put me off. I mean to be honest, it sounded like one of those pirated Reality show that is flooding the mainstream American tv channels nowadays.

"How To Make It In America." Sounds very reality tv to me.

Add to the fact that you got Kid Cudi, new up and coming big shit rapper on the market who appears in the show several times, and i just got put off by it through and through. Commercialism once again.

I hate the fact that new shows or movies nowadays purposely incorporate rappers or singers into their merchandise just because their famous and not because of the talent. So my first reaction to the show, i blew it off. Sounded like shit. Smelled like shit. But the question was, did it taste like shit?

It tasted like an explosion of amazing delight.

It was the best thing i've ever watched recently ( aside from Mad Men of course ).

TV shows, its a hard sale most of the time because the characters run on and on and if they make a mistake you start to lose faith in the whole show. Entourage was one of my favorite shows ever. And with the same guys behind this show, it was amazing.

A story about two new york kids around their mid twenties, trying to start it big by opening their own clothing line. Again, this got me off guard. Clothing line?

I was thinking along the lines of real hustle like opening real business selling shit or music, or whatever else. But again, i wasn't thinking out of the box. I was being too generic.

Always expect the unexpected. What's wrong with two guys who didn't necessarily act gay heading out into the fashion world. It's a very realistic approach and hey money is to be made anywhere. Hence the tagline, everything can happen.

But the show doesn't have a very linear story. The guys first start out with their jeans, trying to market and push for starting a serious denim line. Things don't work out as planned and they branch out into something else and it works but the way the direction of the show takes us to that path is so intriguing it makes you root for them regardless if they fumble up all the time.

Obviously their not going to get success immediately. The show essentially is about how to make your money, but making it slowly. There is no get rich quick scheme in the real world. The real world is about real hustle. And im talking about legit hustle. None of that gangster bust a cap in your ass shit.

I relate the most to the latino kid cause of his loud mouth and sheer determination. He fucks up so much here and there, but it's always a point to get back on your feet again for him. I love that.
So take a gander at the show, have a peak, it's worth the time, if not I wouldn't be spending close to an hour blogging about it.

Here's to finding our dreams, and making it happen.

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 8:45 PM link to post 1 comments

Monday, April 05, 2010

Remember This Guy? Who needs all those guns and kung fu ( *ahem Chuck Norris?) when you got your brains to defend you from the bad guys... might i add he rocked a crazy ass mullet?

I remember watching this back when i was a kid in the early 90s growing up thinking, wow one day i wanna be just like MacGyver. The best part was the opening of the tv show with that bad ass 80s theme music. Made me just wanna go out and get a crazy ass mullet and start fixing things around me so i could pretend to be cool. I used to mess around with the wires around my house and time myself thinking that a bomb was going to explode in 60 seconds.

Unfortunately all that really resulted was with me sticking one of my fingers into a socket and getting electrocuted for an awesome 5 seconds.

Super Awesome MacGyver Theme..Hoo Yeah.

But then i grew up. And suddenly MacGyver just became this awesomely douche bag tv show which never made sense to me. I mean come on, realistically? You can't defuse a radioactive warhead with just a pen and some paper clips you know. And no you cant save a girl hanging from a 12 storey burning building with just a jump rope. And what kind of name is MacGyver anyways? What's Gyver? Gyver, what the hell does that mean? If i open the dictionary of names would "defusing bomb with only kitchen appliances" pop up next to MacGyver?

Somebody must have been smoking something when they thought of that name up cause I've never heard anyone with a name like that before. Dude musta got teased all the time growing up. How bout being in bed with your girl and your making sweet love, and then she screams... MACGYVER!!!...

Dude...don't you have a first name? John, Dick, Andy, Bob maybe? Richard MacGyver?...Why JUST MacGyver? Im so cool i don't have a first name? Is that how it works?

I'll give the guy a break. That was the 80s. We're in the millenium. We've come along way since the mullet days and bad music. Now...we have...

I spoke too soon didn't I..

Not only is his name so bad, his methods are ridiculous.

It started off as one of those one minute SNL skits on NBC and it poked so much fun at the whole MacGyver concept it kinda grew on everybody and became this epic butt joke.

Bum Sperm? When you have 3 seconds to defuse a Bomb you ask for Bum sperm?

You see that's why MacGruber is so awesome. He's such an epic failure that he's amazing to watch. The best videos tho would have to be when the show sells out and starts advertising Pepsi. They don't even try to hide it. They just go straight by putting pepsi into the god damn theme song.

MacGruber and Pepsi Part 1. Sure why not. Opening a pepsi can just before a bomb is about to blow up in 3 seconds? Epic fail.

Now you think a show like this is laughable. Why would anyone take it seriously? Right?

You my friends are so wrong on so many levels.

It's a god damn movie now. They made this into a god damn Movie. They have a movie coming out this summer called MACGRUBER.

MacGyver...you hear that? Even you with your genius attempts at fixing everything with shit around you couldn't even get a decent budget for a start off movie, and these guys beat you to it, and their called MACGRUBER. You are a failure MacGyver.

This is everything you could expect from an R Rated comedy. Dirty humour, utterly ridiculous moves and stupid ass action. The whole backstory of this outrageous character is finally revealed in the movie. Apparently MacGruber is a former seal, ranger & green beret and he was won so many military awards he'd put the whole US Army to shame. Yes he's that good.

And hey when you have Val Kilmer playing a bad ass villain called Deiter Von Cunth, why wouldn't you wanna go watch the movie right.

So here's to really bad 80s tv shows, for making the people today get inspired to make fun of you in a rather ridiculous fashion.

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 11:20 PM link to post 0 comments

Quote of the Day.

Tiger Woods at his Master’s news conference and coverage on HLN News. Caption "Tiger: Today I ‘Took it in’ and it felt really good.

Poor choice of words Tiger. Fail. Epic Fail.

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 11:08 PM link to post 0 comments

Tips to be The Biggest Player in the Intergalactic Universe

The Star Wars Trilogy ( not the atrocious prequels ) were always the best. Whenever you have some drunken debate about how cool some things were, lightsabers, Darth Vader and wookies for some reason always get thrown into the mix. Well that, and that amazing body Princess Leia had in Return of the Jedi, and of course once in awhile a moron would come up and say hey...what if Princess Leia had sex with Jabba the Hutt. What could have happened dude? That would be totally friggin...cool.

err..yeah...well maybe not.

Star Wars was always cool with all these amazing characters in the mix. Everyone had their own favorite character. Either it was Luke Skywanker, Darth Vader, Yoda, Chewie, Han Solo and whoever else that tickled your fancy.

I don't know. Those guys, they were too main stream, i mean what made them cool? Oh yeah Luke, he had the force, wow. Big jedi guy. Yoda? Tiny green elf monkey with a cool lightsaber and talked backwards all the time. Pfft, more like a horny lil gremlin if you asked me. Darth Vader? S&M gone wrong more like it. Han Solo? He could be cool..yes probably for a distant second yeah he could be my favorite character...but nah...nah nah nah, he doesn't quite cut it for me.

You see Han Solo, the man had swagger sure, he had style and he was cool. I mean he got princess Leia didn he? So he's the big swingin dick right? Wrong.

Every great leader, has a teacher. Han Solo learned his shit from someone. And that someone is the biggest swinging dick around. The baddest cock blocker you could ever lay your eyes upon.
That's right. Read em and weep playas, the best character in the entire trilogy is this guy right here....

The only Black guy in the entire Star Wars Universe. Lando Clarissian

Lando Calrissian is the smoothest cat in the entire Star Wars universe. Look at him cock blocking Han Solo with ease. Wit, charm, a cape: when it comes to the art of seduction, Lando has it all. But it didn’t happen overnight. For decades, Lando traveled across the galaxy perfecting his craft. Now, for the first time, Lando’s years of intergalactic pimping experience have been condensed down into a concise, easy-to-read graphic. Follow these eight simple rules and you’ll be banging Twi’leks two at a time in no time!

Thanks to Egotv for that one. But it's true, you try this, and you could be the biggest playa in the universe.

Well...Sometimes..

Maybe we should just stick to the Jabba the Hutt method?

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 10:38 PM link to post 0 comments

Sunday, April 04, 2010
On Duty.

So I'm back. And That's all I have to say. I will be loyal to you my fellow readers.

I promise.

I think?

;)

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 9:24 PM link to post 0 comments

Monday, October 12, 2009
So Here's to New Beginnings?

I know...i know....after two friggin months and only now he thinks of posting something up?!?

What's the point of havin a blog right?

Well yeah I should most definately eat my own words but seriously people I have an explanation.

I am a douchebag.

That's it pure and simple as it could be, i said it

I

Am

A

Douche.

These last couple of months have been pretty eventful, with lots of emotions being tossed around like a tosser tossing salad, but that's besides the point. No reason for me not to update my blog.

So here's the update. I'm finally back in the UK and it feels nice to be "home" with the familiar faces around town and what nots. I missed the boys and the scenes ( though there really isn't much of a scene going down here ) and everything else in between. It does feel comforting to see all the old faces up and around again. In a way it sorta feels like i almost never really left.

Being in Malaysia for a whole year was something else. I had several impactful meetings and found some gems which i don't think i could have ever found if i had just up and left for the UK after 2008 Summer break. In a way i'm glad i stayed. Well, technically i had to, but the benefits that came off it...worth it.

So here i am back again going for classes and doing the negatives with the boys, and trust me, it is a refreshing change of scene. It's a lot to cope since i'm in my third year. I've already got this massive thesis to do for my psychology and crime paper which is due in a month. I've got seminars all over me. I've got 9 am lectures all over the place and to top it off i got work shifts on the weekends which are absolutely ballcrushing...and now you'd probably have a slight idea of how my third year would be looking like...and this is just the beginning. Shit's gonna start proper stirring after the first month. Late nights reading, preparing and stressing. Oh joy.

Right now i'm in the library in between classes, and to be quite frank i'm supposed to be at class. Technically.

I ran all the way to the lecture hall for my first lecture which was in some welsh sounding building i could not possibly pronounce since the welsh language sounds like someone coughing out a big piece of phlegm, and when i finally got there to that very hall, i looked to my watch and i still had ten minutes to spare. Great. Brilliant. I'm early! And the minute i looked up that thought quickly died down like a hard on which just went limp. I see a sign on the door saying "Lecture Cancelled Due to Unforeseen Circumstances"

Absolutelyfuckingbrilliant

There are times where i wonder why do i even bother, but blame it on the tardyness really for not checking my emails last night. I saw the email just now saying that there was no lecture...so yeah i can't blame anyone really. Oh well... i'm a tosser and tossers get tossed.

This post isn't really all that long but i've got another class coming up in 15 minutes so i really gotta run. So till the next post which would be sometime today, i'll catch you boys and girls later.

As the british say... tarra!

Whtever the hell that means...

Abhilash Chandra ♥ 4:35 AM link to post 39 comments